


boyfriend for a fortnight

by fubukishirou



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Adopted Children, Comedy, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Original Character(s), dont worry shes unimportant, i guess, leopika is the main event, like i try
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 19:12:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7857682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fubukishirou/pseuds/fubukishirou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>kurapika's broke, and finds a flyer advertising a paid research opportunity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	boyfriend for a fortnight

**Author's Note:**

> bit of swearing, not sure if that makes it a g or a t+?

A very broke Kurapika stood in the post office, waiting patiently in line for his turn. He could feel himself zoning out, everything going out of focus. Naturally, his chatoyant eyes began scanning the office for something of interest as it appeared this customer was going to keep complaining and complaining until they got their way. _That's not how the world works, brat_ , he thought bitterly.  
Something caught his eye. **"PAID RESEARCH OPPORTUNITY."**  
He took a step closer to study the poster-  
"NEXT."  
That was for him, finally. "Um... I-I uh... Here." He passed his missed delivery ticket and ID to the woman, who had a face like she was going to collapse any moment. They were a little short-staffed and the line was leading out of the door.  
"Yeah yeah, this is for you. 350 jenny please."  
And more money was taken out of his already wafer thin wallet. He collected his parcel, a heavy box he could barely hold up. His friends were so annoying in that respect. Really, it took so much out of him. They would order countless miscellaneous things they had absolutely no use for and always end up being 'too tired' to open the door for the delivery man, or collect the missed delivery. Kurapika had scolded them time and time again - "We can't afford this. We can't even afford our rent."  
And Killua and Gon didn't even live with Kurapika. They were freeloaders who spent most of their time in HIS house. But they're just kids. Killua helped out by scamming people and even pickpocketing, which Kurapika had to spend more time telling him off for than not, and Gon had actually took it into his own hands to get a job. But Gon's job was minimum wage. He felt guilty to admit this, but it didn't make much of a difference at all.  
Leorio was, of course, studying to become a doctor so the fees for medical school were trying to be salvaged... he was quite far off though.  
And Kurapika felt like he did the most (legally) in the house. But 350 jenny for a package? Was that necessary? On his way out, he accidentally brushed the "PAID RESEARCH OPPORTUNITY" flyer with his arm and it flew off the wall. "Oh- sorry," he said, mostly to himself. Leaning down, he had the chance to study the flyer closer.  
**"PAID RESEARCH OPPORTUNITY**  
**Young Romantic Couples Study**  
**You and your partner are eligible to participate if you**  
**\- are in a committed, monogamous romantic relationship**  
**\- have been dating for at least 6 months**  
**\- are currently living together**  
**\- are both over the age of 18 and under the age of 30**  
**Please contact at uoyn@hxh.com if interested. Further details are available."**  
Kurapika's eyes lit up like the stars.

He entered his house, excited to inform Leorio of his discovery.  
"Leorio! I have something to show you!" he called out, to no particular room.  
"I'm in the living room."  
As per usual.  
Kurapika could barely contain his anticipation.  
"Are you gonna fuckin show me or not?"  
Kurapika just grinned cheesily. "You know how we're broke..."  
"...Yeah?"  
"Well... I found something that may just about help us out with rent money..." He searched his pockets for a moment before pulling out a flyer and holding it out in front of Leorio, still a goofy smile on his face.  
"Paid research opportunity... romantic couples stu- Wait, wait, wait a minute Pika. There are no couples in this house?"  
"Yeah... and now I'm seeing the art of scamming."  
"I don't get it."  
"We are going to fake date."  
"Wait - are you sure you're comfortable with this?"  
Kurapika was taken aback that Leorio had no protest. Leorio would insist for hours how heterosexual he is and how attracted he is to females, strictly females with large breasts. 'I'm straight, I'm straight, I was just checking out this video because I thought it was a FEMALE gangbang REALLY.'  
Okay, Leorio.  
"Not really, but we can use the money. I'll email them now."

Within a couple of hours, he received a new email which was the reply he'd been looking forward to.  
It read:  
"Hello, Kurapika.  
Here at YN University, we aim to conduct a study on the psychology of young couples. All that would be required is for you and your long term partner to act normal - our normal pay rate would be 5000 jenny per day, where the researcher would only be with you for possibly a few hours a day. Unfortunately for us, we haven't had many responses to the flyer. I suppose young couples have better things to do than be observed for hours on end. So, hear us out, we shall double the pay since we could really use your help.

This research involves a researcher interviewing you and then using a notepad, really, for a fortnight. If you would like to hear more about what specifically we would be to research, do not hesitate to ask. Otherwise, we shan't bore you with the details. Please respond swiftly, and we will arrange a date for this research to begin within the next week.

Yours sincerely,  
YN University."  
Kurapika could barely contain a squeal - 10000 jenny PER DAY? Just to act as a couple? _No debt for us!_ he beamed internally. _Wait, but what about Killua and Gon? I hope they're open to this._  
"Leorio, Leorio, they replied! They're paying 10000 jenny per day. All that's required of us is to act as a couple... and we'll inform Gon and Killua of the situation when they next come over."  
"10000 JENNY? For how long? When does it start?!"  
"Two weeks, and sometime late this week."  
Right then, there was a knock on the door. That quick? Their service was that fast? He opened the door to find two mischievous teenagers standing in front of him. Oh. He never replied to the email.  
"Killua, Gon. Leorio and I have something to tell you."  
"Did you guys finally fuck?!" Killua piped in.  
"Killua, don't be so crude. No. And we aren't planning on it - we are, though, planning on pretending to be a long term couple. And you guys..." he paused to ruffle their hair. "...are our kids. Our adopted kids."  
Killua and Gon both looked at each other, wide-eyed, and suddenly burst out laughing.  
"You're PRETENDING to be a couple?!" Gon remarked, amusement buried in his lively eyes.  
"Yes. We are. What's wrong with that?" Kurapika dead-panned.  
Killua and Gon lost it again. "Whatever, Mama Pika!" Killua used finger speech marks to emphasise the 'mama Pika'.  
Kurapika sighed. It was going to be a very long next three weeks.

* * *

 

4 DAYS LATER

A knock on the door. Kurapika's eyes sparkled as he thought about all the cash.  
"I'll get it, honey!" he called to Leorio. He opened the door.  
"Yeah, hi, whatever, delivery for Gon? Can you sign here?" Kurapika grunted and rolled his eyes, taking the package and slamming the door. "Excuse me, you have to sign for this!" he heard muffled from the outside.

* * *

THE NEXT DAY

A knock on the door. Kurapika's eyes lit up again at the prospect of bathing in money. Or not having to be in debt to his landlord, whatever.  
A tall, lanky redhead stood at the door whom Kurapika had never seen in his life.  
"Hi, hiya, hey, hi. I'm here for the research? Is this the right house? Oh my God sorry I'm in the wrong house."  
"NO- No, no, it's fine. This is the household you're looking for."  
"Oh, silly me. Of course. I'd lose my head if it weren't screwed on to my neck," she jested, flicking her hand. She paused for a moment, probably thinking of what she was meant to do now. This woman didn't seem very formal. The eye contact seemed abysmal. This was so awkward. "Well I... guess I should interview you and your partner now!" She flashed a cringey smile at the blonde.  
"O-of course, right this way, miss!"  
"Oh, MISS, BA-HA-HA... there's no need for such formalities. I'm flattered! I am absolutely flattered!" she beamed. This was going to be a very, very long fortnight.  
"Leorio, honey, this is... ahem... uhm..."  
"Rebecca!" She was agonisingly optimistic.  
"Oh, you must be here to do the couple study!" Leorio bounced up from the azure sofa and vigorously shook her hand. "Leorio Paladiknight, pleased to meet you. This here is my LONG-TERM BOYFRIEND and the LOVE of my LIFE," Leorio stated, stressing the words that would indicate how serious their relationship was. He promptly sat back down and dragged Kurapika with him who was taken by surprise. Leorio was going to be on the receiving end of a serious lashing out later.  
"Uh... yeah! That's me, right here, in the flesh!" she joked. "Well, I'm gonna ask you guys a couple of probably sorta weird questions, and can you guys answer honestly? Yeah, you can do that for me? Yeah?" She stared intently at them until they gave a nod of affirmation, and then sat down on the armchair next to the sofa. "Weeeeeell, okay guys, I guess I'm starting now! First of all, how long have you two... lovebirds been together?"  
Leorio piped in before Kurapika could even open his mouth. "Eleven entire months with my soulmate!" Wow. He was enthusiastic.  
"Yeah, and don't forget sweetheart, our anniversary is in a few days. You haven't forgotten my present have you?"  
"Well, how could I?" Leorio flashed the most endearing smile at his fake boyfriend. It was disturbing.  
"Awwww, you guys that is SO... CUTE!" Rebecca smiled to herself as she wrote this down. "Okay, and where did you guys meet?"  
"Umm we... err... I'm training to be a doctor, and he came into the emergency room. I had to treat hi-"  
"NO," Kurapika nudged him fiercely. "Honey, you're SO forgetful!" He placed his hand on Leorio's lap and squeezed, a bit too hard to be a romantic gesture. "We met in a bar, and you bought me a drink!"  
Leorio's foot found Kurapika's and attacked. "I'm the forgetful one?" he chuckled. "No, we met in the coffee shop. You spilled your coffee on me!"  
Kurapika smiled superficially. "Oh, yeah! We met in a coffee shop. But you spilled the coffee on me, dumba- honey."  
Rebecca's hand was moving vigorously, trying to record every bit of information at Mach 1. "RIGHT, let's move on then! Would you guys say your relationship is stable? Do you argue a lot?"  
Leorio winced as Kurapika's grip around his leg tightened. "Noooo, arguing is our LEAST favourite pastime... we like to um... we like to-"  
"Bake! We love baking cakes together. And going on romantic walks. At night time."  
They looked at each other, simultaneously declaring the location they would walk to to sound more authentic.  
"On the beach."  
"At the park."  
They repeated themselves, swapping ideas.  
"At the park."  
"On the beach."  
Kurapika cleared his throat loudly. "Sometimes at the park, usually at the beach. It's very romantic."  
"Bless you two! And, do you have any children?"  
"YES! We have two adopted kids. We love them. They're only nine, but puberty hit them very early, haha!" Kurapika lied. He had no clue how this worked.  
"Awww, you guys are my favourite couple ALREADY! Two kids? So committed..." Rebecca's eyes had gone glassy. Was she really fucking crying? "And... just for me, will you guys share a kiss?"  
Kurapika blinked. Human contact was a no-no for him. Kissing was an even bigger no-no.  
"Of course we will!" Leorio said eagerly.  
"Um, no, HONEY, I don't think we should. Because-"  
"You're so prude, SWEETIE. Come on. Just a kiss. One kiss. Give a kiss to papa. Kiss daddy."  
Leorio grabbed the back of Kurapika's head and pushed it towards him, but Kurapika resisted, protesting with a "no" every few seconds. There was a millisecond where Kurapika relaxed, and their heads knocked together and mouths connected, very clumsily.  
"OUCH!" Kurapika grabbed his nose in pain, feeling a liquid drip into his hands. "What th- What?? Leorio honey, I need a tissue. Please. Now." Leorio looked at his fake partner and gasped.  
"Oh shit! You're bleeding!"  
"Uh, I figured. Yeah."  
Leorio rushed out the room as Rebecca stared in shock. He rapidly came back with a pack of tissues. "Okay, put your head forward and just squeeze..."  
"Ok, doctor, but I have had nosebleeds before." Kurapika sounded all nasally and it was absolutely hilarious. "Hey - you bastard! Why are you laughing?!"  
Rebecca uncomfortably looked around the room. "Well, that was... um... all of my questions. I'll pop in every day at about two to three, then I'll come back at six to seven. Right. You won't even know I'm there. Okay. Bye. Bye guys. Yeah. See ya." She quickly hurried out the door, blatantly feeling out of place and very, very awkward.  
They didn't even notice she left until his nosebleed was settled.  
"Well, doctor, that was quite a realistic performance if I do say so myself," Kurapika marvelled.  
"Are you fucking kidding? Have you ever dated anyone?"  
"Do I seem like the dating type? I knew I was a natural." Kurapika flicked his blonde hair with a cocky smile on his face.  
"...I didn't mean it in a good way."  
"Sure you didn't. Well, I'm going to bed. Night night, 'boyfriend' of mine!"  
"Goodnight, long-term partner Kurapika."


End file.
